Showing posts with label LifeStyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LifeStyle. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Diaries of a Sad Man: Side Dude

Everyday we encounter sadness. Whether it's fake sad or real sad, shit is still sad. This is a story of how a young man who once thought he found the one, slipped up and become the side nigga..

'Twas a lonely night on Twitter while a dude's DM's was dryer than grandma's.. Nvm. He was doing what every girl loves in a man. Flaunt. He was flaunting his chick like she was a trophy. Dude was ranting about how much love he got for his girl. And how he's so happy with her. What he didn't know was what was happening on the other side of the the TL. He didn't want to become what he later became, the side nigga. His worst nightmare became reality.

On a night filled with curiosity and Whipped Cream flavored Pinnacle between the two of them, something drastic happened. The chick went out with an old friend. Just like every other nigga, all he could do is pray that she won't go hoe around with her friends. He don't even know who her "friend" is. Or even if that "friend" is a male. What if she's just lying? Anyway.. It was then when he received a text from "My Queen" telling him that she will be going out to a club for her friend's birthday...... It was right then and there when his stomach swirled up into a knot right after that text. Those are words that niggas HATE to hear from their queen. He felt like a little kid crying his eyes out. So much, that he thought he was going to throw up. This the most stressful situation you could put your man in. Shit ain't cool. You have the dude pacing up and down his room waiting for any text to reassure his relationship with her. She had the dude waiting like Shawn Michaels gripping the ropes waiting to give The Undertaker the Sweet Chin Music...


Every text he got was dissected like a cat in High School biology class for deeper meaning. Pointing out any mistake in her texts waiting for her to come home and be like "YOU DRUNK WITH OTHER NIGGAS UP IN THE CLUB? YOU AIN'T SPELL SHIT RIGHT"

Worst shit any female could do when they're out partying is tweet an emoji. Just a plain emoji. No words.. But just ONE simple emoji. You know the saying "a picture has a thousand words" ? Yeah, so does that one emoji your girl put up. That could make a nigga want to put his girl in a 4 figure leg lock as soon as she touch base at home. Undoubtedly, that is exactly what she did. Now he's checking all over his TL for any niggas saying they at the same spot she's at and even checking her mentions. Shit gets real from here.

Now the dude gets worried and acts as if he got the whole Mystery Machine filled with Shaggy, Velma, Scooby, Fred, and Daphine and starts detecting. Looking for evidence from Facebook to Twitter to Instagram. That ONE emoji could mean a lot. No dude wants to witness seeing his girl put up the emoji sticking it's tongue out with no words followed by it while she's out partying. What does that mean? Better question is, what COULD that mean? That could mean she's being loyal. That could also mean she's busy hoe-ing around, tongue wrestling one of your former homies from school/work. And your just there left to only wonder.

This shit is so stressful for us niggas out here. Only advice I could tell all of the male readers reading this blog other than gripping your girl tight, is to clap your hands together, say 3 Our Father's, 1 Hail Mary, and just keep praying this won't be you.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

#ThrowbackThirstDay

This ThirstDay movement is going back in business.. S/O to everyone who emailed me.

















 


Dude was begging for her to "tell" him. And cut STRAIGHT to the chase with the "amma marry u one day" Notice the chicken head writing style used by this future rapist.



 
















Stone Cold rejections are the worst. 




















These niggas just won't take "no" for an answer. (No pun intended to @PrinceDreManX) 




















Never trust a bitch with 1,000 followers












Never thirst for a bitch with a Blackberry. It'll always go wrong.



















"I think I ....you"



















 3 different greetings.. Not one answer.. #SadLifeGang



















As my niggas from Dyckman would say.. Dique "forgot" *bursts out of laughter*




















In case you didn't understand the last picture and how fast she sky rocketted into this Thirst category. 





Saddest Thirst Of The Week:

He'll even pay for gas. Gas is close to $4.00 a gallon. In NY it's almost $5.00. And he still would pay for gas. SMH where are the souls for these niggas. WHO RAISED THESE NIGGAS MAN?!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Never Trust A Bitch With 1,000 Followers

 

While you're there thinking "These thirsty niggas ain't fuckin' wit my girl, she too hollywood for that," she's reading everyone of those #ThirstMessages on her alone time. 30% of those 1,000 followers are sliding into that bitches DM's like they're trying to steal 2nd base in the world series. They slide into that shit so quick that she won't even know how to react to it and next thing you know she's going to be waking up to #HeyBoo's and all her favorite emoji's that are making HER day. Only leaving her nigga sitting there and be sad all day long. 

If your current wifey accepted these niggas request knowing they haven't quenched their thirst for other hoes, then something's wrong. 1,000 followers on Twitter, thousands of FB friends, and 1,000 followers on IG can only  mean one thing. It's like a desert full of niggas. Everyones gonna be thirsty. You see she has a boyfriend, you think that gonna stop niggas from hitting that DM? You think these niggas do not know there are other niggas trying to pipe? It's all a competition. To see who can win the battle. The 1 on 1,000 battle to see who's going to bag this chick with a thousand followers. Do girls know how much credit and reputation a nigga gets if they steal someone else girl? Especially if she's fake famous. That's equivalent to a gang banger clapping up and robbing 5 niggas from another gang and getting away with it. It's worth a try.

Every relationship has problems no matter who you are. Its not even fair when you fight and your girl has PLENTY of cactus ass niggas in her DM complementing her looks. If one day YOU slip up, she'll answer one of those "Your the prettiest girl I ever seen" type of niggas and right there your career is over. He gon' tell all of his people that she actually responded and your going to sit there and just cry. Whenever she's sad she's going to scroll down her DM's like it's a timeline and smile. She's going to smile like she has never smiled before. Because of whom you may ask? It is because of ANOTHER nigga. Not you (the boyfriend or whatever you are to her) but someone else with a pulse. Your basically just giving the gun to the other dudes and letting him shoot your relationship down. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN.

Don't think she won't respond to it either, because unless she's famous... She has committed some type of thirst act to get those 1000+ followers in the first place. Either she's half naked in her avi, has her breasts exposed, or just follows everyone and their mother. Moral of the story, don't trust a girl with 1000 followers. They're not following her for her personality, bitch ain't Oprah. If your girl happens to fall under that category there's still hope. Try and get her back. Best advice I can give you, is throw her phone in the air and pray Twitter deletes. If this fails, just hold her tight on every hug and pray. Only time can tell.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

#ThirstTrap: Angling Of Pictures

With a little research mixed with a little bit of boredom and a couple shots of Patron, I've now understood one of the concepts as to how pictures are deceiving. Call me crazy, but just check a regular girl's InstaGram and scroll through her photos. I could bet my life on it, that they all use this technique. Thank Me Later..

The way you angle a picture could make or break the picture. Now-a-days people swear they are photographers and/or models and know what their doing. Meanwhile all you really have to do is click 1 button and it's gold. Instagram filters with a smile can make any chick look good. Shit like that does not mean you are a photographer. It just means your not dumb.
 
Girls literally go out their way (some not knowingly) to make the picture seem like they had a photo shoot for it. Girls take pictures not showing they forehead. Focusing on JUST they're pretty smile or beautiful eyes. Little do they know, that some niggas already caught on to their "game." They are trying to make us real niggas forget about their imperfections. There should be a option on the picture where you can scroll up and maybe see their imperfections. Bumps, redness, pimples, AIDS, rashes, all could be on that forehead but with that picture, you can't really see. Lowkey, foreheads really do make a person. Nice smiles can be devoured by a ugly forehead with acne. She could have a pinhead she's trying to hide. I just want to save dudes from falling for this thirst trap. We should not be fooled by the angling of her iPhone/Droid/Brick anymore. Pics are way to deceiving with these InstaGram effects regardless.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

#ThirstDayThursday

Every now and then, we witness thirst being shot putted it's way into a chicks phone. At this day in age, technology made being thirsty so easy. Some females come across this act as "nice" or "showing respect." While other niggas see this act as "If she accepts this, that box gonna come straight home to me like UPS." Thank you to everyone that sent me thirst messages for my blog via text, email, iMessage, or even sent me these first handedly and did not know I would ever leak it. With all due to respect, identities won't be shown. Lets not forget that these are real life people. Without the help, this wouldn't be complete. Keep them coming. Send thirst to NothingButDopeIsh@gmail.com

 Bitches love thirstin' for a late night call.

 Curve city.. But she still insist on starting the convo.

 "Your killen me."

 Nigga hungry.

 Embarrassed.

 Straight up thirst.

 Slick Talk.
 Boyfriend Number 2.


"I eat like a Puerto Rican."

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

5 Stages of a Relationship

 
Don't mind the date of the calendar. This is just a rough peek of what the Stages of a Relationship (otherwise known as "Cuffing Season") SHOULD look like.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Faggotnometry (Twitter Edition)

All throughout Twitter we witness a lot of different people. Cool, Fake cool, boring, dumb, lonely, etc. Here is a list of shit GUYS shouldn't say via ANYTHING. This whole "movement" is more of a Do's and Don'ts type of shit for guys. But it still separates the men from faggots.


  • Saying "I can't".. Like "Hahaa OMG I can't"          (Real bitch trait)
  • Call niggas "assholes"
  • Tweet SorryNotSorry
  • Use "bittersweet" correctly
  • Say Nom Nom Nom
  • "RFT" a tweet
  • Retweet a tweet with a quoted style
  • Don't follow Menalie Iglesias
  • Don't follow Rihanna
  • Tweet with your phone sideways
  • Use a ;) in your tweet
  • Use a :p in your tweet
  • "That awkward moment when..."
  • Follow @iRespectFemales, @NJProblems, @DRAKE_YMCMB, @Senior12Problems, @RealChuckie 
  • Have #Swag in your Bio 
  • #Hashtag #Every #Word
  • Tweeting your phone number 
  • Putting hearts @ the end of your tweets
  • RT for an honest DM
  • Tweeting anything with #________problems
  • NF: @AnotherNigga

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Rules of a SideChick

Some girls think of being a side chick being easy. It's not. Your basically living a double life. I actually give most of them props because there are many rules to the game. It's hard out here for a pimp to control his bitches. Follow these rules and you will live a drama free life. But for the mean time, here's the Rules of a SideChick


Thursday, May 10, 2012

Ladies Love Assholes

photo.JPG

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Think Like a Man. Get Treated Like a Hoe.




Act Like a Lady. Think Like a Man. Get Treated Like a Hoe.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Breeds of Hoes

(Not in any type of order)

Hoes are more of a breed than anything. What people don't know is that you can categorize them in many ways. Here is a list of certain types of hoes. You decide who's who.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Difference from Guys & Girls Cheating. S/O to @RCHYOUNG

 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

We Do It For Hoes

All For the Hoes

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Girl get's WASHED over Twitter beef

 


2 Hoodrats, 1 Porch, & 1 Camera

Same day it was posted on WorldStarHipHop, she got arrested. Crazy what the internet could do