Rules of a SideChick

Some girls think of being a side chick being easy. It's not. Your basically living a double life. I actually give most of them props because there are many rules to the game. It's hard out here for a pimp to control his bitches. Follow these rules and you will live a drama free life. But for the mean time, here's the Rules of a SideChick. 




1) Don't Fall In LOVE 
Most side chicks do not graduate to become more. No other way to say this other than being blunt about it. Please don't fall in love. This will ruin the relationship. Your basically a friend with benefits to the dude. Don't ruin a "happily ever after" by catching feelings. And don't ever use the L-word in vain. Matter of fact, when the topic comes up, just quickly skip it and proceed with sexing her in your backseat. 

2) Keep a Distance From Main
9 times out of 10 you have to be undercover. Act like a spy and think like killer. Don't let the dude's girl see you affiliate with him. Don't even look his way. When it's all said and done, the most you can do is slip him ONE text, throwing a thirst ball at him and let him hit. If the main follows you on Twitter or adds you on Facebook... BLOCK/IGNORE. Do both of us a favor. You don't want to get any ideas of shit we do with our MAIN and expect it to be done with you. Don't get your hopes up. Other than that, keep your distance.

3). Know Your Position 
You better know your a jump off and nothing else. Don't expect late night calls, dates, movies, or all that. Just expect to be used and nothing else. We're not going to pay for your nails, hair or any of that bullshit. We do not want to here your sob stories or how rough your life is. Don't even get emotional with us because it will only lead to make up sex. And if you think you'll ever be introduced to family, let us know so we could cut you off ASAP. Holding hands is a no go so don't get any ideas. We suggest that you do not watch The Notebook or The Vow because this will ONLY lead to high expectations. 

4) Cut the Small Talk
Your not there to beat around the bush and flirt. Being the side chick is more like a business. Cut the bullshit. There's no such thing as being "hard to get" in this scenario. It's either we lovin' or I'll see you tomorrow.

5). Don't Backfire
This whole scheme is nothing but a risk. We invested (mentally/emotionally definitely not financially) in you so if you fuck up we'll definitely be angered greatly. What happens when we piss you off? Who knows. ANYTHING can happen.To make it seem better, just know that we chose you out of any other girl as a risk.

6) Stay Faithful
It may sound crazy but yes, side chicks need to stay faithful to there "man," fake man to be exact. We don't want you to fuck with any other dude. If so, your getting exposed as a hoe. It's a little hypocritical. But there's certain rules you have to live by accepting the Side Chick request. Those hickeys on your neck better be signs of abuse, hoe. We do not need to engage with other jealous niggas that think your their wifey and WE'RE the side nigga.

7) Don't Stalk
We will file a restraining order if you are caught stalking. There's no reason for it. If we don't want you to know where we are, it's probably cause our main's are around. Even if she isn't and we don't tell you, we just don't want you in our presence.

8) Prep Yourself Well
Your a side chick. Not a main chick. Respect your position. There's no time for you to look like bum. That mean's no pics on Instagram captioning "Bummy Day" then going to our house with the same clothes on. Nah. Only wifey's have time to dress bummy. That means no sweatpants, hair tied up, no make-up look or anything of that sort. Don't expect us to NOT send you back home to change looking like that. Also, make sure your shit clean. Shower, hoes. Hygiene first. Hoe around second.

9) Don't Leave Evidence
No matter where you are, do not leave any trails of evidence. That means no scrunchies in the car, no liptstick, shirts, etc. NOTHING. Your main walks in the car and sees a scrunchie that's not hers and all you can do is play it off as a relative's.

10) Save Our Names as Mom, Dad, Cuzzo, Aunti, etc. On Your Phone. 
In public, when you receive a call/text under our government name, you're just letting all the gossip girls get dirt on us. You're a hoe and for us to be seen on your phone screen is bad enough. Please don't make it any more hot boy.